When Birth Leaves Invisible Wounds
Birth is an initiation - a portal that we step through without knowing what lies on the other side, no matter how many times we’ve been through it before. Each time, it is new. It requires deep trust: of our bodies, our babies, and the providers guiding us through. For some, it is a surrender and a natural event that happens in their own home with no interventions. For others, it is a highly medicalized event involving medication, interventions, and sometimes surgery.
In a country with a 33% cesarean rate, outdate hospital policies, and significant power imbalances in provider-patient relationships, it is not surprising that birth trauma is common. What is surprising - and often misunderstood - is what actually defines trauma.
Trauma isn’t the event itself. It’s how you perceived the event & how it continues to impact you over time.
An emergency C-Section may be experienced by one person with total reverence, gratitude, respect, and peace. A natural home birth may be experienced by another person as painful, scary, traumatic, and out of control. It is not about the event or the number of interventions. It’s about how you felt.
Some questions to consider:
How did they speak to you?
How much autonomy did you feel you had?
Were interventions done TO you, or WITH you?
Was your “no” respected?
Did they answer your questions with care and consideration?
Did they listen to your discomfort, your pain, your fear? Did they honor your sadness, fear, grief, anger?
Did they walk you through what happened during your birth to help you understand what happened - and why?
Was there accountability taken for any negative interactions or experiences you had?
Was your comfort, joy, and emotional wellbeing a priority?
These things matter. How you were treated matters.
Lasting Effects of Birth Trauma on Your Nervous System
No matter how you birth, the process takes you to the edge of yourself. You go to the stars to retrieve your baby and bring them earthside, and return forever changed. Even when things go perfectly, you’re landing back in a new body as a new person.
But when birth feels out of your hands - when your consent is ignored, your body disrespected, and your experience minimized - coming back to your body can feel unsafe.
Your nervous system may be stuck in survival mode - scanning for danger, and unable to settle.
Let’s simplify it:
The sympathetic state is fight, flight, or freeze. It’s a reaction to perceived threat - preparing your body to get out of danger. You may feel hypervigilant, tense, activated, and disconnected.
The parasympathetic state helps us recover. It’s responsible for rest & digestion. You can thank it for feeling relaxed, calm, curious, creative, connected, safe, and grounded.
Trauma can keep our nervous system stuck, and unable to shift back into regulated, grounded safety.
Response to birth trauma may look like:
racing thoughts
heightened anxiety
constant worry
panic attacks
intrusive thoughts
difficulty sleeping
flashbacks
phantom pain
muscle tension
poor digestion
rage
depression
difficulty bonding with your baby
irritability
isolation
Birth trauma’s impacts reach further than the day your baby was born. It can impact your trust with your body, the bond with your baby, your relationship with medical providers, your perception of motherhood, and your belief in your ability to adapt to this new identity and life.
If you’re struggling with this initiation, know that you are not alone, and it’s not your fault. I help new moms release the shame in their struggle, understand their nervous systems, and create safety to land back in their body, evolve into their new identity, and build resilience rooted in self-compassion.
If you’ve been looking for someone to listen, validate your experience, and actually help you feel more grounded and supported, I would love to be that person for you. Please reach out for a free 15-minute consultation: www.rootandbloomtherapyservices.com/book